The "EveryBody" Insider
Communicating the Concerns of Black People

They Used to Call Me toby
By Bahati Babatu Osayimwese


W.E.B. DuBois describes a conflict within the consciousness of African Americans in his book "Souls of Black Folks". He defines this conflict as the struggle of two souls within a single dark skinned body. One soul represents the striving to survive and flourish within the mainstream Westernized society while the other soul constitutes the wrestling within the unconscious African cultural identity and legacy. A Black person lives in two worlds - one White and one Black.

During a discussion on Cinco De Mayo with a colleague, the need for Hispanic or Black organizations and celebrations arose. My colleague's thinking was that we all should be one people. Why is there no day to celebrate just regular 'ole Anglo culture?, he asked. I replied stating that there is a reason for those organizations and asked that he try to understand what it feels like to be on the other side ( i.e. try to understand what it is like to be Black or Hispanic or a member of another minority group).

On the very next day I read the news about a high school in a small town in Georgia which was hosting a "Whites Only" Prom. Can we be as one people?

There are other ironies in this story. Minority organizations typically do not exclude other groups from participation. One need not be Hispanic to celebrate Cinco De Mayo just as no one need be Irish Catholic to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

But, on Cinco De Mayo we take a few moments to learn a little Mexican history and celebrate some good music and dancing. This is just part of one day out of 365 used to focus on Hispanic culture.

Most of the time we are immersed in Anglo culture. We African Americans speak Anglo. We work for, with and/or around Anglos. We reside in an Anglo American run country. Most of us have Anglo names and one Anglo soul. Anglo American is the name of one of the biggest gold-mining outfits in Africa. 

It is unnecessary to set aside one day on which to celebrate Anglo culture. We LIVE that culture EVERY day.

Citizens, have you forgotten me? I was captured in an outer net that wrapped around my body tossing me to the earth. I was marched westward to the sea. Shackled and bound I was placed inside the belly of a large wooden fish with fins of cloth waving in the wind above the sea. Further westward swam the fish with me and hundreds of others within its belly.

I was offloaded to the shores of a strange land in which I remained bound. The men spoke in confusing tongues. I knew who I was but could not BE who I was.

One day I was stripped and beat nearly to the point of death unless I refer to myself by a name that was not mine nor the choosing of my ancestors.

As Alex Haley's book "Roots" points out, Kunta Kinte was forced to either die or accept the name of Toby.

Toby is the externally applied name to the African who remains Kunta Kinte even after half of his foot gets chopped off and even after his mortal body is returned to the earth.

The 14th Amendment guaranteed citizenship for African Americans and former slaves. But, this new freedom did not guarantee their reclamation of their African names nor did it grant reparations for damages for past slavery and/or mistreatment.

There are some 38 million African American descendents of slaves in this country. How many African names managed to survive the enslavement and Westernization process over the centuries?

To lose your name and to never get it back is a shameful thing to experience and a terrible thing to forget.

They used to call ME toby. There is an African inside of me still trying to become free. Some are afraid that the inner African is a sort of ape who needs to stay locked up or locked down.

Some say Africa is a mess. Who would want to associate with a place like that? 

Is the whole planet "a mess"? Should we all denounce our existence as human beings and jump off this planet declaring to GOD and each other that we are unworthy of the beautiful garden that was prepared for us?

I can no more cease to be an African than I can stop being a human being. To cease to be who I am is to cease to be.

They used to call ME toby; but, I have always remained who I am in spite of the condition in which I live and in spite of the condition of the Earth, Sun, stars, and Moon or any components thereof.

If I am truly free. I can freely stay or freely go. I can freely call myself toby or not.

Some say that I have never been to Africa; therefore, I am not African. But, as one scholar states, "If kittens are born in the oven it doesn't make them muffins." Where I was born and where I have been has no relevance in defining who I am.

Some say that I should "go back" to Africa. The truth is that I am IN Africa and Africa is in me. The shackles of shame and confusion will not deter me from being who I am wherever I choose to be who I am. And, I shall define my identity by my own definition written in a dictionary of my own making.

The shackles of bondage rest symbolically at the feet of the Statue of Liberty. Those shackles were on my hands, feet, mind, and soul before they were laid to rest at that statue.

They used to call ME toby. Now there are those who want to limit the manner in which I think about MYself. What arrogance! They would think me insane to reject the name of toby.

But, I have been unshackled. I have cut through the outer net which entrapped me. I have tapped my inner net to strengthen my heart and consciousness. I use the internet to spread my free thoughts as a free African.

My name is Bahati Babatu Osayimwese.
(translation - fortunate, peace-maker, GOD has created me all right)